Drunken Style: An Alcoholic Story Part 2

Part 2

I had my first seizure at Schlitterbahn Water Park. Chastity and I had been married for a while by this time. We had opened our own shop before we were married and were doing well. I was drinking constantly though.

Let me walk you through a typical day in my life as it regards to drinking then, and for years after.

- Wake up. Start getting kids ready for school. Open beer #1

- Take kids to school. Home by 8:00. Finish beer #1 open beer #2. Get ready for work.

- Leave for work. Open Beer #3 ON THE WAY TO WORK. Stop at the corner store and buy a 12 pack.

- Open the shop by 9:00, open beer #4

- From 9:00am-2:00pm Hang out at the shop and drink most of the 12 pack I had bought. I usually would take the last one with me and drink it on the way home.

- 2:30ish stop on the way home to get more beer.

- 3:30 get the kids from school. Continue drinking……….

Bear in mind that this is just a “workday.” If I didn’t have to go to the shop on any given day I could easily double that.

Over the past 10 years if you saw me out and about I can promise you that I had at least one open alcoholic beverage and one on standby.When I was in the hospital this last time, after having told them my typical day (it’s actually a requirement) they asked me how many DWI’s I had. When I answered “zero” they were shocked needless to say. It’s true. I haven’t. I have come damn close a few times, but I’ve never had one. I couldn’t care less about that “record” I am so VERY THANKFUL that I never hurt anyone. Thank God.

Now this might be hard to believe, nevertheless it’s the Gods honest truth; I HATE DRUNK DRIVERS! Even as I was constantly drinking and driving on a daily basis. ( I’ve come to realize since that I hated myself ) I can promise you that I’m the first one to take someones keys if they’re trying to get behind the wheel. I wont allow anyone to drink and drive if I can help it, ask anyone who knows me. Please bear with me for what i’m about to say will sound fairly awful if taken out of context. I honestly hate saying it but I have to in order for what I’m trying to say to make sense. Here goes: There is a difference between being intoxicated and being impaired. I drove while intoxicated all the time but never if I felt impaired. (please keep reading) This is a very thin line, and I walked right on it’s edge for years. If I ever FELT impaired or THOUGHT I was I wouldn’t drive. Feelings and thoughts however are no excuse for such behavior. Honestly, being a trained martial artist makes being a highly functional alcoholic kind of easy. For a while anyway….

I really don’t mean to appear to gloss over this matter of drunk driving, or for anyone to think that I’m boasting or something for being a “Good Drunk Driver” I have, and ya’ll more than likely have, heard someone say that before. Hell, I’ve heard people pride themselves on it. I have nothing but shame in my heart for ever driving while I had been drinking whether I FELT impaired or not. I make no excuses for it and am truly sorry and thankful at the same time. I have seen first hand the tiny coffin containing the tinier child of a friend of ours who was killed by a drunk driver (-SOSO). I just want to say that drinking and driving is Immoral. Shame on me.

Time went on and I continued to slowly poison myself. One day at a time. Our business continued to do well and my family and I were able to go on a few trips each year. This brings us to Schlitterbahn.

Schlitterbahn is a waterpark in New Braunfels Texas just south of Austin. If you’re into waterparks this is the one to go to. I don’t care for waterparks. Not an important detail AT ALL I just don’t. The morning that we went I felt like shit. I was especially hung-over, dehydrated, and I hadn’t eaten. I would often forget to eat and by this time in my addiction I was rarely hungry. Chastity has even had to ask friends to make sure I eat if she wasn’t there.I was miserable all day. And hot. If I remember correctly it was July. Some people might say that I’m afraid of heights. This is false. I have an overly healthy respect for gravity. If you could combine in a hypothetical mixing bowl the following: dehydration, hangover ( withdrawal), an empty stomach, severe anxiety from your overly healthy respect for gravity, the Texas heat, and high blood pressure ( which I didn’t know I had at the time and actually don’t any more-Iron Mantis) apparently, you have all the ingredients you need to serve up yourself a grand mal seizure.

If you’ve never had a seizure before it’s impossible to really understand what it’s like. I worked with a busser once who had epilepsy and would have seizures from time to time but now having experienced it it’s nothing like I had imagined it would be. I’ve also spoke with others since and it seems to be a little different for everyone. I’ll try to describe it as I experienced it as best I can, but words don’t really do it justice.

I was standing in front of Big Mike who had come with us to the park. I was standing there…..and lights out. Imagine a lamp. Now if you turn the switch the lamp turns on and off. The lamp is meant to work this way. Now imagine that you’re the lamp and you’re accustomed to your switch functioning how it’s supposed to. Now imagine something unknown to you suddenly yanks your cord out of the wall. That’s what I mean by lights out. Now imagine frantically trying to plug your self back into the wall with one hand, while turning your switch on and off repeatedly with the other hand, yet not having any control over what each hand is trying to do and get this, you have no idea that you are even a fucking lamp anymore! That’s lights out.

When the lights came back on I was strapped to a gurney being carried through a crowd out of the park to an awaiting ambulance. My entire body ached. It felt as if I had just done a thousand burpees, while simultaneously running a thousand miles underwater. I also had broken my left shoulder. I’m still not sure how exactly. You see, I had taken a spill on a slide about ten minutes before the lights went out, but when they did Big Mike caught me by my shoulders and set me down. Either way the ball joint of my left shoulder was cracked. I hurt a lot. I also had no idea what had happened. I remember thinking to myself “Did I fall?” I also remember thinking to myself “Did I get shot or something?” I might have spoken this aloud I don’t know for sure due to amnesia. I remember being in the hospital and vomiting uncontrollably and freezing. Apparently the hospital is less than a mile from the park and I was soaking wet and only wearing board shorts. Eventually I was able to comprehend what the medics and nurses were telling me that I had experienced a seizure.

A few hours later they let me go. I don’t want to go into to much detail about my experience in that hospital due to the fact that I have nothing nice to say about it.

About a year later my family and I had the opportunity to spend two weeks in Japan. My brother in law and his family were stationed there at an American Air Force base in Misawa in northern Japan. I had seizure #2 at Narita International Airport in Tokyo Japan. By the time we arrived in Tokyo I hadn’t slept in 36 hours or more. We made through customs and met up with the in laws. We were walking and carrying our bags and ….lights out! The next thing I know I am in the back of an ambulance with a few Japanese medics and my wife. This was strange to me at first and I thought I was dreaming. But it wasn’t a dream. I remember thinking this has to be real because they are speaking Japanese so well. Fortunatly, I wasn’t injured badly other that a minor bite on the inside of my cheek, I was fine. Japan is a beautiful country and I would like to go back sober one day. I don’t have very clear memories of that trip as I was drinking the entire time, and the shock of the seizure I had upon arrive al doesn’t help either.

A year and some change later I had seizure #3.

When I got back from Japan I went to see a neurologist. I didn’t know yet that these seizures were alcohol related. I had several tests performed to rule out epilepsy and tumors before this Doctor finally asks me “ Mr. Morris are you a drinking man?” In hindsight that doctor knew damn well that I was and decided to exhaust all reasonable avenues of billing me until he tapped me out. Lesson learned. So one day I am in my house talking to my father in law and his youngest son. Remember laughing about something as I stood up from a stool and LIGHTS OUT!

This time when the lights came back on I remember asking the medic “did I have a seizure?” which was immediately followed by “ Is my jaw broken?” It was. I hadn’t realized until I tried to speak that my jaw was broken and dislocated. I went into shock at some point. Apparently I started to fight with the medics (my wife was following the ambulance and could see into the back door) This time I had face planted on the tile floor of my kitchen. I had suffered a complete orbital fracture of my left eye, broken cheekbones, broken teeth, and a dislocation of my jaw and a broken jawbone. I now have seven titanium plates in my face and more than a dozen screws. I knew damn well what was wrong with me. It would be two more years and another seizure before I quit drinking.

I need to address the fact that my children witnessed all of this. Every seizure I’ve had and not to mention the 1000’s of hours of my drunkenness. I cannot begin to properly address my regret for that here. It is my hope that I haven’t scarred them too badly and that one day they can forgive me…..

Stay tuned for the conclusion ( or is it just the beginning) of my story. Coming up Getting clean, and Iron Mantis!